Wife 1.0 Tech Support

I received this email long time ago and has been passed on and on and received again, and I just recently received it again from high school classmate Dale Vicent Mactal whom he sent it to several people and landed in the hands of Gerlie Lota-Bernales who forwarded to several people and I received it again…

Just thought to posting this funny email. And I myself have stuck with the software Wife 1.0 and never decided to go back to all other software programs, simple because it was not worth it and I have no plans at all replacing the software ever.

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Troubled User

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application “Yes Dear” to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

WARNING!!!DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support

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4 thoughts on “Wife 1.0 Tech Support

  1. Xcellent, Mr. Ben! 🙂

    Suggest try installing plugin – StealthMistress2.5 instead.

    But before you do, cleanup your registry first to erase any tracks.

  2. hahahaha! StealthMistress 2.5 is known for taking too much resources so unless you have lots of resources, it’s not advisable to install StealthMistress 2.5. 😀 Instead, install SexyBarGirl 1.2 and spend resources only when needed.


  3. Pingback: The Husband Store

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